An anniversary, of sorts

Disclaimer: This one might be a little sad.

A year ago tonight we held a 40th anniversary party for my in-laws. This might not seem like something to reflect on, but there's more to the story.

For a year before the big anniversary, my husband wanted to have a party for his parents. Although the 50th is generally the year for a big party, my husband felt very strongly that we needed to celebrate their 40 years together. My in-laws, on the other hand, felt differently. Not ones to enjoy being in the limelight, they insisted they didn't want a party. My husband was very disappointed. About 8 weeks before the big day, my mother in law called and said she had changed her mind, and we could give them a party if we wanted. John was excited, but we had no idea how we'd pull this off. September is a big wedding month in New England. Where in the world could we find a hall? Then there were favors, music, cake, and invitations to think about. It seemed impossible, but God had a plan!

With very little effort, we located a reasonably priced country club that had a cancellation. My sister-in-law was able to locate a bakery to make a replica of their wedding cake. She also took care of the favors and centerpieces. (Unlike me, she's great with stuff like that!) We found a DJ, with only one phone call. My husband got a hold of their damaged wedding photos. He spent hours digitally restoring them. I made a scrapbook from the photos, the first real wedding album they've had. (I'll admit, I didn't finish it until midnight the night before the party!) He also created a slide show showing their life together over the years. John then made a guestbook incorporating all the pictures from the slide show. Throughout all the planning, God seemed to lead the way, and open doors. Apparently, He too felt this party was a good idea.

It was a lot to get done in a short amount of time, but when the day arrived, everything was ready. A family friend, whose hobby is photography, called that morning and offered to take pictures. We said "Sure!" Little did we know that this, too, was part of God's plan.

The party couldn't have been better. Everything went perfectly! The slideshow was a big hit. My favorite part was a photo of my brother-in-law with his son, Tony, on his first day of school. It faded out, the next photo being the two of them at Tony's high school graduation. It was very sweet. Everyone we had invited had come, and then some. Even our teenage nephews, Tony and Joey, were enjoying themselves. It was all about family and friends coming together to count their many blessings. Everyone seemed to "get" that.

When the evening ended, I happily headed out to bring the kids home. John stayed behind with his nephews to gather up all the odds and ends that we had brought. As I left that night, and hugged my nephews goodbye, I never could have guessed it would be the last time I'd see Tony's beautiful face. Four weeks later, our 19 year old nephew would die unexpectedly. The party is our last memory of him. Although Tony's death took us all by surprise, God, of course, knew what was to come. With my whole heart, I believe this celebration of love and family was orchestrated by God to provide us with the loving memories He knew we'd soon need.

So this date is bittersweet for me. As heartbreaking as it is to realize that it's been one year since I've seen Tony, I also think there's much to be thankful for about that night. The family friend provided a wealth of pictures. A picture of my sister-in-law with her 3 boys, altogether. A picture of my kids with their cousins, the last one we'll ever have with everyone in it. And many more. Tony's entry in the guestbook to his grandparents was the most tender of the book. He spoke of how much they have meant to him growing up. I know my in-laws will treasure his words forever. All of the aunts, uncles and cousins had a night of great memories, that included Tony for one last time. If I had known what was to come, I wouldn't have been able to imagine a better final memory of Tony. For that I can be thankful.